Monday, February 27, 2006

 

Our cute, cranky, cherub

Or … just don’t take it personally.

Alice has had a lot of ups and downs these last few days. Most of them, thanks to steroids. While it seems obvious her brain was not ready to be off them earlier, she wishes she was. Alice kind of came tumbling down Saturday evening. She is very emotional now and added to her fatigue, it is at times putting her over the edge. She cries easily, eats constantly and feels “yucky”. And she has the puffy little cherub cheeks steroids give.

Alice gets so upset so easily and often kind of “picks a fight” and you can get engrossed in it, trying to be logical and suddenly realize, “this is not personal, this is steroids.” Like yesterday morning, after playing cards with her all night, being together constantly, sleeping in her room, in the morning I went downstairs to talk with John. I was downstairs about 10 minutes and Alice comes down, “there you are. You abandoned me!” And she’s mad and won’t let it go. I start to say, abandon. I just left for a few minutes, but she is now all teary eyed … “I felt so alone.” Poor little cherub … don’t take it personally.

So today, we’re off to Portland for her post-op check. Should be uneventful and I’m hoping it will be just an “incision looks good see you soon” kind of visit, as I’m not in the mood for any discussions about the future.

Onward and upward. She’s really doing so amazingly well, and she's been through so much. We’ll gradually taper off the steroids (slower this time) and see how she does.

We’ll keep you posted.
Thanks for caring.
Peace and love,
Susan

Comments:
Hello, Heinz family--
Just spent a few minutes catching up/weeping through your site...been thinking of Alice so much. Genna just had biopsy surgery last Tuesday...so many of the things you said were "get out of MY head!" kind of things...thank you for sharing, for giving me a sense of "we're not the only ones doing this NF/brain tumor/geez, they aren't supposed to do THAT!" .

Hope Alice gets stronger every day. We're still seeing the post-steroid effects (our first time on them...shudder)...Genna & Alice sound like twins in that regard.

I agree about the neurosurgeons...before we saw G, we asked our doc how the incision looked..."I always think they look good!" was his response. Beauty really must be in the eye of the beholder (or moms see differently than neurosurgeons!) : )

looking forward to washing G's hair tomorrow (sort of)...

best to you all, and continued strength be yours...
peace,
 
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